the obligatory 9/11 post

The recent events.. I've heard the word tragedy so many times it doesn't mean anything anymore. It just makes me sick. It was an incredibly horrible turn of events, I just wish people would expand their vocabulary. The only word anyone can seem to say is tragedy. That word... it just doesn't express anything, I've been numbed to it. It's been used for everything even vaguely bad, and now when a real tragedy is upon us, it means nothing. The tragedy, the tragedy, the tragedy. This is a time when words fail. There is not a word in the dictionary that can truly describe what has happened. But tragedy is definitely not the word to choose.

I overslept that morning. My alarm reset by a recent power outage, I forgot to set it again. I had a class at 11, my dad awoke me at about 10:50 with "don't you have a class in 10 min." I was kinda pissed at him, bothering to wake me up then, at that point my time was better spent sleeping, as I would've missed the majority of the class by the time I got there. It was about 11 when I was dressed and everything and finally went upstairs. As I entered the living room my dad was watching the news on TV when he rather nonchalantly [as he does with any emotional news] told me that oh by the way they crashed a few airplanes in the world trade center and pentagon. And it was just like that. no anger, no shock, no sadness, no fear, no emotion at all. I suppose I can't really bitch, as I am rather nonchalant myself when it comes to such things, but at least I try to be somewhat sympathetic, at least I felt some emotion.

Well the first thing out of my mouth was "Shit." And that is how I felt, a little bit of shock, not overwhelming. I don't get shocked that easily. I guess I'm somewhat detached. I don't take on the emotions of others like most people do. I don't think about the children losing parents, parents losing children, lovers losing the object of their affections. I recognize the gravity of the situation, but as I do not feel the loss by comparing it to my own emotions as they would be. But again, I do recognize the gravity of the situation, and try to take in to account the emotions others must be feeling. I am not emotionless, far from it, but again I simply don't make the connection. I could, but I don't, and perhaps that's a good thing.

It did, as many people have said, feel very surreal at first. Like I would soon wake up and everything would be as it was. I felt like it was a vision, that I would wake up and be able to use the information to prevent a catastrophe. I felt like it was a movie, where lesser crimes against humanity have been sensationalized, perpetrated by a defined enemy and averted by a heroic effort. But I haven't woken up yet, I haven't left the theatre... I'm still here, living it...

Anyway I didn't end up going to class, and while I did eventually get a nap it, it wasn't for a while. I spent most of the day watching the news, even though none of the really seemed to be saying anything, just repeating the same thing over and over... I read up on it at /. and geeknews as well. It wasn't really until later that night that the real gravity of the situation hit me. I was reading a post on geeknews about Nostradamus and the attacks. Of course there were similarities, but it was kind of a stretch. The third, a fake one, mentioned the beginning of World War III. And that's when it hit me, that's when I started getting scared. I mean I didn't take all that much to heart about the predictions, but it did occur to me something big was starting, and it wasn't going to be good. I kinda felt like it was all over, that I had run out of time. The chance to anchor a life for myself was gone. This was the beginning of hardship, and I wasn't ready. There was nowhere to run, my comfortable life was over. I couldn't hide anymore. So here I am, naked, in the middle of wide open spaces, covering my head with my hands hoping I don't get hit by the massive ball of shit that just hit the fan. And I felt like that, for the rest of the night and into the next morning. I felt like it was all pointless, it was all over. It doesn't matter what I do today because it won't mean shit in the days ahead. Why do people bother to go back to work, why do I bother to go back to school? It won't mean anything now... it's all over. ... I thankfully got out of that though. I calmed down, and now I realize that it all hinges on how this is dealt with. And there's a good chance that the ultimate result will be prolonged peace. If the terrorists can realize that such an attack hurts everyone, including themselves. Times have changed. The days of warring city-states are over. We are no longer defined nations with defined boundaries. But rather one giant organism. To attack your neighbor is to attack yourself.

It is quite inspiring though, heartwarming, to see how the peoples of the world are as horrified by this are we are. And how they've all come to support us whole heartedly. America's been the butt of many jokes around the world, but now it's as the they've all stood up and said, "Ok, enough bullshit. That country has done far more for us than give them credit for, and it's time to give a little back." Oh sure, it is in they're best interests economically, but it seems to me to be truly genuine sentiment. And it brings a tear to my eye... not only because so many people care, but because it shows how the world is finally starting to unite. We are all becoming brothers, and not just economically. Slowly we are changing from a world of nations, to a world of people. And I believe that herein lies the good of this horrific turn of events.