emotions

Happy new year. woohoo *sarcasm* just another year. Nothing so bloody special about that really. Time has past as it always has, does, and forever will. I rang in the new year at club audio... it was.. a party. Not the best, but certainly better than last time. I got hugs from all the chicas I wanted to, which was nice. I dunno if I want to get into all the details of the evening right now, as I have a feeling it will get me depressed, and I don't really feel like getting into that emotion right now. I've been like that though, lately. All about focusing on and experiencing and expressing the emotion, regardless of what it is. That's a part of the reason why I've been so adamant about not using drugs lately. Though users tell of the good emotion and experiences they induce, it just doesn't seem right to me to induce an emotion like that. I kinda feel like emotions, good, bad, neither, need to be ridden out, experienced, expressed, vented, through natural means. Also the drug in question, seems to produce a great intensity of emotion and sensation. But that really doesn't seem right either. Sometimes, many times, it's about the subtleties. More is not always better, and thee is a great deal to be said about experiencing the beauty of a slight sensation, experiencing the everyday anew simply by focusing and looking at it from a new perspective. Also within, all of this I want to know what it is I'm feeling, something I would not be sure about with a chemically induced mental state. But enough about that, for another time I suppose. I'm only half into my writing right now. I'm somewhat forcing myself, which isn't really good, because when I do, what is delivered from my fingertips doesn't feel as genuine. But I write to get things out and to encourage more frequent writing. So I shall stop now, and await a better time, perhaps.